Friday, 10 October 2014

Changes for me....

A little warning about this entry. I feel the need to blog about my recent RL changes, to vent a "little".
I'll be posting about Eve and Wow in a moment as well, but this one first.

I am a private person, I've got friends and family I trust and talk matters over with.  However I do feel the need to say this "out loud".

After 14 years in one organisation I finally handed in my notice just over 2 weeks ago.
This has meant I've spent the last 2 weeks in unemployment (many an asteroid has been mined and many a game of BF 4 has been played).

For most people the loss of a job is the loss of a wage and would be a shocking change to life. For me it is a loss of pay but one I've been planning for, for many years. I have saved for this day. It's been a career changing moment that’s long overdue.

Holding out for a redundancy package for 4 years showed that it wasn't going to happen.
Circumstances had forced action.

Long standing favouritism with one rule for some and none for others. Years of decisions against me have piled up.
Management using HR rules and guidelines as a bat to legitimise actions. Not just against me but many others that have come and gone over the years. 

One example, I was marginalised by being given a reprimand for lack of communication when a temp role to become supervisor was coming up. The only skill an applicant needed was “good” communications skills.  I should have left then.

I found myself blocked unable to be promoted even temporarily, and the person that did get the job was hugely under skilled. I mean seriously under skilled. I'm in IT support. When you’re asked by your section "leader" how she should install Access, a basic Microsoft product. That really sent me over the edge.
This role has come up again and only one candidate can go for it.

Meetings with dept management and HR all resulting in clearing my name but no action to further my career. Talk about a dead-end.

The worst of all being the dept. head showing an “open door” policy, using it as an information gathering exercise to hammer employees. I've seen a lot of people come and go in my time and all have experienced his "kindness" in this way at one time or another.  
I learned this first hand soon after he started. I went and talked to him and stated that I was unhappy in the current role and wanted to expand into other areas. The result of this was a formal reprimand from H.R. regarding my lack of enthusiasm for the job. 
Charming. 
A lesson well learnt.

Over the past number of years this has gotten worse for me, having to take stress leave on numerous occasions.

Looking back now I should have gotten out sooner. I had opportunities, interviewed and was offered roles. I kept saying to myself that a permanent and pensionable job was its own reward. I was very wrong.

The stress of being in situations on a daily basis was not worth it.

It was a spiralling never ending loop. This was the crunch time.

There are grievance procedures and actions that could have been taken but I'm not like that. I'd rather leave them to it than to spend the next 10 years dealing with it. Let them weave their own webs within webs.  I know what other department heads think of them, long term they will get what they deserve.

With such increased levels of frustration I felt that my resignation was justified.
I could talk about this for pages but enough is enough, it's done and over with.

I need to detox from that place, take only the friendships that matter and move on. For the first time in a long while I feel great about the future of my career. 

Change always comes; I wish I'd done it sooner.

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