No Mans Sky....

Urge to waffle... So I shall.....This post isn't going to be rainbows and sunshine.... It's a personal thing.

Since my last post I've changed my mind(again); I've been overthinking things(again). So again what really stops me from playing the game with enjoyment/fulfillment is me(no surprise?!). My attitude, thoughts and feelings about it. All mixed. It's not something I feel I can change. No matter how I try. A while back I commented that I'd changed as much as the game has since it came out. It's true. True as the phrase that you only get one chance to make a first impression. There's so much to like, so much to get into with the game, I've tried on a genuine level to 'get into' as much as I can...... But my hard disconnect(removal from planet that time) was a hard one to swallow for me. It's results linger now and still cloud it all. While I've had these feelings for a while I felt I was getting to grips with the game again, as near to a fresh start as I could do, now the new update has lost me again. 

I've spent my entire journey avoiding the wrath of the sentinels. That's not to say I've never pushed my luck or not killed them... I have. But the latest update sends you into a town and with one line of dialogue puts you in combat with some drones. Then your pressurized constantly and heavily hinted by every other NPC conversation to make you their Mayor Overseer... It all feels wrong to me because I've still got my original journey unresolved. It's unresolvable and that's the unhealing splinter in my brain. I can't change that any more than the game can transport it and me back in realworld time to 'fix' things. In this game I don't like being pushed into certain paths. My frustrations now are born of that frustration as well as the old ones. The newer journeys mean nothing to me. No matter how I try and explain, analyse and reason with things in my own noggin; Quiet the mess... yes; No wonder I blog.

Over time since it's release there have been high's, lows and all that can be in between. I've waffled and blogged and posted lots as I journeyed. And didn't post about it when I was put off the game. Some changes are not good. Like involuntary incidental base/player move/resets(you may have picked up on that). I can't let that go. Obsessive, yes, compulsive, maybe, OCD, just a touch. Who isn't 'complicated'. Yes,the game over-promised at it's start and now (imho) has over delivered. Where the start was a mysterious journey into space; It wasn't(that) complicated. Now, especially with the new patch/update... I'm lost in a sea of content that seems overly complicated. Even if I choose to be minimalist and 'basic' it still gets complex. Needlessly overly complex.... From in game, game mechanics to actual gameplay micromanagement. This game has changed to be 'current' and up to date with today's gamer needs(constantly changing with additions....). That's not for everyone. Even if things can be spelled out in a video, it's now a long-winded bloated game. 

Don't get me wrong there is good work on good work; The constant updating and additions are to be applauded. But for me in this game, it's gotten too much! 

I watched some more TheXPGamers stream playing Genesis Alpha One and it made me feel like I connected more with that game than than NMS.... Where I was once put off by Genesis's samey grind I'd take it now over the ever changing grind in NMS.

The amount of time that I've been away from the game has made me miss the smaller, subtler changes that most take for granted. To be "into" the game I'd need to have been in the game all along. Never leaving. Absorbing those changes and not noticing. 110% interest all the time. Or at least that's how it feels. I'm disconnected because I chose to not be in or a part of the game and meta community for long periods.  

No Mans Sky, a game I've tried in so many ways to get back into. An uphill struggle now more than ever... Trying to keep up to date with all the changes feels exhausting; I feel like I'm an old, senile adventurer that should've been put out to pasture long ago. Or taken out back... Ol'yeller, lets go for a walk......Feeling like I can't catch up, lost in a sea of gathering materials, adrift on waves of knowledge that I feel I should know about but don't... Other players play this game so intuitively and with such vigor while I'm just on a planet drooling in my helmet. 

So yea I'm overthinking this, venting, waffling and feeling like I should close the book of No Mans Sky, finally altogether.

To find my own goals to try and 'just explore' now is off-putting, the game gets in the way. A grind with no fun to persist in that grind. My frustrations mount and there's no enjoyment in it at all.  There hasn't been real fun for a while. The grind of the grind has worn through the veil of reasoned motivations. Thinking soberly I've played the game and gone along to get along. Hope and expectation of things getting better. The last few months have been the last hard roll of the dice; Real effort but in the end proof that 10% interest isn't enough; That 90% 'Meh' existence in game isn't a mysterious journey to dive into and be brought along by. I can't do any of it any more. 

I can't just play in creative mode either. It's less adventure... like a survival game without survival mode. What would be the point(better base building in Minecraft!).

Recently I waffled about buying 'big box' games back in the day. Finished games that may only receive one or two patches after retail. I cling to games to get maximum value because games have value to me, longterm. That's not to say I don't appreciate games that get constantly updated. MMO's aside games like ETS 2, Dawn of Man, Domina, Stardew Valley are great to with new content. Which brings me back around to appreciating the Space exploration, harshness and micromanagement of Genesis Alpha One..... Again. It's not perfect either but I can forgive it a lot more now. Perhaps time better spent in it than NMS. It's never taken anything away from me in game(I'm really bitter the more I waffle).

Complexities within and without.

It's time for another uninstall. Archive info/save and move on. I'll still feel like I'm missing something by leaving it behind. I've said and felt that before about the game. It's like the loop or a self fulfilling prophecy with no happy ending(just another uninstall).